On Bisexuality, Pansexuality, Polyamory, and Why Erasing All Three Identities in An Attempt to Become more Accepted is actually a Dick Move
It’s super bullshit that bi people have to say “no I don’t date multiple people” or “no I don’t need a boyfriend AND a girlfriend” or whatever to justify their sexuality and always reiterate the fact that they’re “not greedy.”
because actually hey, guess what, bisexual/pansexual polyamorous people DO exist and the fact that they have partners of different genders doesn’t make them horrible human beings, or somehow “invalidate” their sexual identity in ANY way.
And ACTUALLY, I’m very tired of “all bi ppl are slutty” as a stereotype being rebutted by “oh hey actually bi people are in committed monogamous relationships” examples because that’s not actually helpful at all.
In fact, what you’re ACTUALLY doing is what the mainstream Gay Marriage/Gay Rights Movement has been doing for about the past ten years now. You’re erasing the more “objectionable” identities of the queer community in an attempt to appeal to mainstream, suburban, upper middle class (white), Christian America.
And ACTUALLY…That’s bullshit.
Because here’s the thing—shitting on bisexual/pansexual ppl who have multiple partners, who identify as polyamorous is still limiting your view on what types of sexuality are “acceptable.”
Look, it’s true—there are bisexual/pansexual people who ARE monogamous, who ARE comfortable with just one partner. It’s stupid to say that all bisexual/pansexual people are incapable of monogamy. And I’m not saying that there’s a certain degree of passing privilege attached to being bi/pan, because there definitely is.
But it’s just as stupid to erase those people who identify as polyamorous and also bisexual/pansexual.
But honestly, unless you’re thinking about dating those people, or in a relationship with those people…it’s really not your problem.
And this isn’t just straight people, either.
I’m looking at you, “gold star lesbians,” who shit on the existence of bi/pan women. I’m looking at you, gay men, who look at bi/pan men as simply “in denial.” I’m looking at the gay/lesbian community who still continue to judge and refuse to accept bi/pan identities within the sphere of “acceptable sexuality.”
Why the fuck do you think you’re entitled to declare the ethics of somebody’s sex life if you’re not actually having sex with them, or romantically involved with them?
And PS: doesn’t that actually sound super uncomfortably familiar?