Vaingloriously Not in the Same Vein
I KNOW I SAID I WOULD STAY OFF TUMBLR UNTIL THE BAR NEXT WEEK BUT I JUST HAD TO SHARE THIS AMAZING MNEMONIC DEVICE I JUST MADE UP FOR THE RULE AGAINST PERPETUITIES

GUESS WHAT GUYS

RAPpers COVER P (diddy)

It stands for:

The Rule Against Perpetuities applies to (covers)

Contingent Remainders

Options to purchase

Vested Remainders Subject to Open

Executory Interests

Rights of First Refusals

Powers of Appointment

…you’re welcome

Things I learned in law school:

  • There is no such thing as “breakfast food.” Except food you happen to eat at breakfast.
  • It is possible to get jet lag from law school because your sleep schedule is so off
  • You can get muscle fatigue from writing.
  • Highlighters are beautiful lifesavers
  • It is possible to have a long and expensive legal battle over the definition of the word “chicken”
  • Never get in the way of anybody who has a paper parcel on the railroad because it’s probably fireworks and you’ll get smashed by the scales of justice 

Things I was supposed to learn in law school but really probably didn’t:

  • The law 

The only time I’m grateful to have a good ole boy law professor is when I missed the actual lecture for bar prep and I have to watch it online and can watch it at 1.5 speed because the good ole boy accent is a slow southern drawl thank fuck I can get this done sooner

yo I’m gonna claim that watching the Wire is actually bar prep because this shit is scary accurate and I’m taking the MD bar anyways and practicing in baltimore so like fuck you, Barbri 

I feel like the process of me trying to get cracking on this whole “studying for the bar and doing practice quiz” things is the closest I’ll ever get to empathizing with Harry Potter during the entire first half of Deathly Hallows 

Only instead of wandering around uselessly looking for something that I only vaguely could recognize in theory I’m wandering around my apartment trying to memorize laws that I only vaguely could recognize in theory

I’m gonna need somebody to asian mommy me right the fuck now but like I don’t wanna call my actual mom because lord knows she’s gonna get way too extreme tiger mom what I need right now is somebody to sit my ass down and say “you better work, bitch, our ancestors did not suffer and die for you to kill off the family tree with your laziness” but I don’t need the rant to be 30 minutes long and half in tagalog or chinese that I don’t quite catch like somebody give me tiger mom lite or some shit

literally I need somebody to be with me on the phone or some shit to make me take these stupid practice quizzes and force me to read them out loud because that is how unmotivated I am right now

jesus christ who the fuck gives a shit about what would happen if Congress wanted to put a base on the moon or whatever wtf this is not constitutional law this is a sci-fi channel writers meeting

I was going to go and study by the pool today but I just got a news bulletin from the local university police saying they had to shoot a fleeing bull and I just heard some thunder that sounded akin to Zeus’s stomach growling with indigestion and basically I have read enough Greek mythology to realize either I might get preggers from staying outside for too long or the gods are about to throw down and in either case I’m just gonna sit here in bed.

So apparently people do not know about Maryland Case Search and they should

This is a link to Maryland Case search.

Ahem:

1. What is Case Search?
Case Search provides Internet access to information from Maryland case records as described in the Maryland Rules on Access to Court Records (Rules 16-1001 through 16-1011). In January 2006, Case Search was introduced to satisfy information requests commonly received in the court clerks’ offices. This information includes names of parties, city and state, case number, date of birth, trial date, charge, and case disposition. Case Search includes detailed case information for all Maryland Circuit and District Court Case Management Systems.

2. What records are available on Case Search? 
Maryland District Court traffic, criminal, and civil case records and Maryland Circuit Court criminal and civil case records are available. The amount of historical data may vary by jurisdiction based on when an automated case management system was deployed and how the system in that jurisdiction has evolved. See FAQ 4 for dates. 

What records are not on Case Search?
Landlord tenant, marriage license records and all case types protected by the Maryland Rules on Access to Court Records.

3. How current is the information in Case Search? 
Case information is entered into the system by the clerk’s office and is reflected on Case Search almost immediately upon entry with the exception of Montgomery County Circuit Court which is delayed by approximately 10 minutes. The time when a clerk enters case information into the system varies by jurisdiction.

——

Now, on one hand, you may be like “wtf that is so creepy why would I want that online.”

But on the other hand I spent the last semester working in a legal clinic that specialized in domestic violence and let me motherfucking tell you.

LET ME TELL YOU.

SEARCH OUT YOUR DATES BEFORE YOU MEET THEM. 

MOTHERFUCKING HELLLLL NO JESUS CHRIST YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY’VE GOT IN THEIR PAST AND SOME OF THAT SHIT IS SHIT THEY’RE NEVER GONNA TELL YOU.

like jesus christ ok like not everybody is on here for necessarily bad things (traffic violations and etc. also get recorded) but if you could search a thing quickly to find out if your date has a history of rape or domestic violence or assault that would be a good thing to know, yes? 

YES.

THE ANSWER IS YES.

(note: this is only for MD, I don’t know if other states have a similar service but you can always google “X state + case search” and see what pops up.)

So it took me several extra complicated forms, one failed psychiatric evaluation, a HIPPA violation, $600, another independent psychiatric evaluation, two essays, my parents going through my desk drawers at their house for SAT/College Board information from 8 years ago, logging on the lsac.org for the first time in three years (no small feat because oh dear god what email did I use) to get my LSAT scores, a letter from my guidance counselor, copies of all my accommodations letters from my sophomore year of high school on up, a rather hefty rush delivery fee at the post office, and several frantic phone calls to the MD board of law examiners because my social security number was wrong on a couple of forms but 

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HALLELUJAH I GOT MY FUCKING TESTING ACCOMMODATIONS FOR THE BAR EXAM. 

Time and a half plus isolation, baby!

(seriously though how the fuck is this much work and effort not an ADA violation like jesus fucking christ guys don’t you know about undue burden and shit??)