Don’t Go to Law School If… (Reason #565980)
…you expect to come out of it and immediately get a nice $60,000 associate position right off the bat after basically three years of working your ass off to the tune of an average of $100,000 in student loans.
Because it’s not going to happen.
Here’s the deal:
- I live in the DC/Baltimore area. As a result, I’m competing against law school grads from the ONLY TWO law schools in Maryland (both of which are in Baltimore) AND all the DC law schools. Ironically, there are more law schools in DC than there are in the entirety of Maryland.
- Note that there is a governmental hiring freeze that just lifted
- Note also that what that means is that the people who would have been hired as associates in governmental work for their background and training and focus during law school ended up taking fellowships and clerkships and other temporary jobs because that’s the best alternative
- Others ended up as paralegals and legal assistants…which is sort of like a doctor taking a nurse’s position.
- Which means that I am competing against not only every other law student who took the Maryland, DC, or VA bar this July…but I’m also competing against basically every other eligible law school grad from the past three years.
- Note also that the jobs that are available are mostly paralegal positions because while the hiring freeze is over, nobody wants to fork out the cash to pay somebody an associate’s salary—they’d rather get recent law school grads, desperate to pay off student loans, on hourly timesheets, doing associate level work for less.
- Interesting sidenote: I recently interviewed for a paralegal position. The next person I saw waiting was also a law school person (I recognized her). I also bumped into another one of my classmates—who was working at the time. At Target.
So, newsflash to every single person mouthing off about how our generation is just expecting way too much and is just too uppity about our educations:
WE AREN’T THE ONES THAT FUCKED THIS SHIT UP, YOU DID. WE’RE JUST THE ONES EXPECTED TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.
Things That I have Done That Actually Earned Money Since I Started/Graduated from Law School:
- Mural commissions featuring original artwork
- Jewelry sales from my handmade jewelry
- Editorial and Online maintenance services
- Audiobook gigs
- Research Assistant position which paid shit but at least it got me some tuition relief
Things That I have Done that hasn’t actually earned me money:
- legal internships
- Anything to do with the law really
- Seriously wtf
We-ownthesky also requested a 20 second rant about 10 things that make law school suck and drain you so here you go.
We-ownthesky also asked for 10 good things about law school in my 20 second rant challenge.
I KNOW I SAID I WOULD STAY OFF TUMBLR UNTIL THE BAR NEXT WEEK BUT I JUST HAD TO SHARE THIS AMAZING MNEMONIC DEVICE I JUST MADE UP FOR THE RULE AGAINST PERPETUITIES
GUESS WHAT GUYS
RAPpers COVER P (diddy)
It stands for:
The Rule Against Perpetuities applies to (covers)
Options to purchase
Vested Remainders Subject to Open
Rights of First Refusals
Powers of Appointment
Things I learned in law school:
- There is no such thing as “breakfast food.” Except food you happen to eat at breakfast.
- It is possible to get jet lag from law school because your sleep schedule is so off
- You can get muscle fatigue from writing.
- Highlighters are beautiful lifesavers
- It is possible to have a long and expensive legal battle over the definition of the word “chicken”
- Never get in the way of anybody who has a paper parcel on the railroad because it’s probably fireworks and you’ll get smashed by the scales of justice
Things I was supposed to learn in law school but really probably didn’t:
The only time I’m grateful to have a good ole boy law professor is when I missed the actual lecture for bar prep and I have to watch it online and can watch it at 1.5 speed because the good ole boy accent is a slow southern drawl thank fuck I can get this done sooner
yo I’m gonna claim that watching the Wire is actually bar prep because this shit is scary accurate and I’m taking the MD bar anyways and practicing in baltimore so like fuck you, Barbri
I feel like the process of me trying to get cracking on this whole “studying for the bar and doing practice quiz” things is the closest I’ll ever get to empathizing with Harry Potter during the entire first half of Deathly Hallows
Only instead of wandering around uselessly looking for something that I only vaguely could recognize in theory I’m wandering around my apartment trying to memorize laws that I only vaguely could recognize in theory
I’m gonna need somebody to asian mommy me right the fuck now but like I don’t wanna call my actual mom because lord knows she’s gonna get way too extreme tiger mom what I need right now is somebody to sit my ass down and say “you better work, bitch, our ancestors did not suffer and die for you to kill off the family tree with your laziness” but I don’t need the rant to be 30 minutes long and half in tagalog or chinese that I don’t quite catch like somebody give me tiger mom lite or some shit