Vaingloriously Not in the Same Vein

We-ownthesky also requested a 20 second rant about 10 things that make law school suck and drain you so here you go. 

We-ownthesky also asked for 10 good things about law school in my 20 second rant challenge. 

I KNOW I SAID I WOULD STAY OFF TUMBLR UNTIL THE BAR NEXT WEEK BUT I JUST HAD TO SHARE THIS AMAZING MNEMONIC DEVICE I JUST MADE UP FOR THE RULE AGAINST PERPETUITIES

GUESS WHAT GUYS

RAPpers COVER P (diddy)

It stands for:

The Rule Against Perpetuities applies to (covers)

Contingent Remainders

Options to purchase

Vested Remainders Subject to Open

Executory Interests

Rights of First Refusals

Powers of Appointment

…you’re welcome

Things I learned in law school:

  • There is no such thing as “breakfast food.” Except food you happen to eat at breakfast.
  • It is possible to get jet lag from law school because your sleep schedule is so off
  • You can get muscle fatigue from writing.
  • Highlighters are beautiful lifesavers
  • It is possible to have a long and expensive legal battle over the definition of the word “chicken”
  • Never get in the way of anybody who has a paper parcel on the railroad because it’s probably fireworks and you’ll get smashed by the scales of justice 

Things I was supposed to learn in law school but really probably didn’t:

  • The law 

The only time I’m grateful to have a good ole boy law professor is when I missed the actual lecture for bar prep and I have to watch it online and can watch it at 1.5 speed because the good ole boy accent is a slow southern drawl thank fuck I can get this done sooner

yo I’m gonna claim that watching the Wire is actually bar prep because this shit is scary accurate and I’m taking the MD bar anyways and practicing in baltimore so like fuck you, Barbri 

I feel like the process of me trying to get cracking on this whole “studying for the bar and doing practice quiz” things is the closest I’ll ever get to empathizing with Harry Potter during the entire first half of Deathly Hallows 

Only instead of wandering around uselessly looking for something that I only vaguely could recognize in theory I’m wandering around my apartment trying to memorize laws that I only vaguely could recognize in theory

I’m gonna need somebody to asian mommy me right the fuck now but like I don’t wanna call my actual mom because lord knows she’s gonna get way too extreme tiger mom what I need right now is somebody to sit my ass down and say “you better work, bitch, our ancestors did not suffer and die for you to kill off the family tree with your laziness” but I don’t need the rant to be 30 minutes long and half in tagalog or chinese that I don’t quite catch like somebody give me tiger mom lite or some shit

literally I need somebody to be with me on the phone or some shit to make me take these stupid practice quizzes and force me to read them out loud because that is how unmotivated I am right now

jesus christ who the fuck gives a shit about what would happen if Congress wanted to put a base on the moon or whatever wtf this is not constitutional law this is a sci-fi channel writers meeting

I was going to go and study by the pool today but I just got a news bulletin from the local university police saying they had to shoot a fleeing bull and I just heard some thunder that sounded akin to Zeus’s stomach growling with indigestion and basically I have read enough Greek mythology to realize either I might get preggers from staying outside for too long or the gods are about to throw down and in either case I’m just gonna sit here in bed.