yo I know like ‘tis the season for all the “what about law school for me?” questions to start flowing in and shit because hey admissions letters are being mailed out right now
but for real all you ppl asking me about “what is law school really like” like I mean I hate to burst your bubbles and shit but it’s not grandiose at all.
like I know all us law students have a fucking superiority complex and shit but honestly like if you asked me to sum up what I’ve learned in two years of law school it’s this:
- International Multi-BIllion Dollar law suits can depend on the really urgent question of “What is Chicken”
- Always use the word “FUCK” if you’re protesting the draft because otherwise you’re being too literal and like those SCOTUS motherfuckers really love some figurative “many uses of the word “fuck’” protesting like I’m not even kidding it’s fucking case law
- Don’t worry about getting sued if you were a dumbass and decided to bring some live fireworks on a train and the resulting explosion caused some big ass statue of scales to fall on some old lady who was walking by because like that shit is hilarious and everybody knows it’s not really your fault and you don’t have money anyways so whatever people don’t care about suing you
- Scalia is a dick and nobody likes him and even Clarence Thomas probably hates him right now because EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME YOU GOTTA WRITE A LONG-ASS DISSENT, SCALIA, WTF.
- Cardozo is to law school what Beyonce is to tumblr ok let’s just leave it at that
- NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THE LAW MEANS OR IS IT’S ALL UP TO INTERPRETATION AND LOOKING RIGHT SMART BUT FOR FUTURE REFERENCE JUST DO YOUR RESEARCH AND DON’T BE A DRUNK DICK TO THE JUDGE (start like 7 minutes in)