Vaingloriously Not in the Same Vein
OK, Baltimore Men, I fucking give up.
I go out in a fucking 8 year old hoodie, dirty jeans, and fucking arctic weatherproof snowboots and a pretty fucking hideous umbrella (you can’t tell how hideous in the pic but it has weird-ass polka dots and I had to buy it today at the school bookstore because my other school bookstore cheap-as-fuck umbrella came apart in two pieces today) huddled under said umbrella clutching a soggy take-out bag while the rain fucking deluges on down and you’re still gonna roll down your fucking car window and yell “HEY BAAAAABY OW!” at me?
we are NOT AMUSED, BALTIMORE MEN. WE ARE FUCKING PISSED AS FUCK AND YOU ARE LUCKY THAT THE NICE PAPA JOHN’S DUDE WHO WAS DROPPING OFF A PIZZA AT MY APARTMENT GAVE ME A COUPON FOR AN ENORMOUS COOKIE PIE, OR ELSE SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN MY HIDEOUS (yet strangely expensive) FUCKING PINK UMBRELLA SHOVED UP THEIR FUCKING ASS.

SAVED BY THE FUCKING COOKIE PIE COUPON THAT’S ALL I’M SAYIN

OK, Baltimore Men, I fucking give up.

I go out in a fucking 8 year old hoodie, dirty jeans, and fucking arctic weatherproof snowboots and a pretty fucking hideous umbrella (you can’t tell how hideous in the pic but it has weird-ass polka dots and I had to buy it today at the school bookstore because my other school bookstore cheap-as-fuck umbrella came apart in two pieces today) huddled under said umbrella clutching a soggy take-out bag while the rain fucking deluges on down and you’re still gonna roll down your fucking car window and yell “HEY BAAAAABY OW!” at me?

we are NOT AMUSED, BALTIMORE MEN. WE ARE FUCKING PISSED AS FUCK AND YOU ARE LUCKY THAT THE NICE PAPA JOHN’S DUDE WHO WAS DROPPING OFF A PIZZA AT MY APARTMENT GAVE ME A COUPON FOR AN ENORMOUS COOKIE PIE, OR ELSE SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN MY HIDEOUS (yet strangely expensive) FUCKING PINK UMBRELLA SHOVED UP THEIR FUCKING ASS.

SAVED BY THE FUCKING COOKIE PIE COUPON THAT’S ALL I’M SAYIN

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