Vaingloriously Not in the Same Vein
Fequently Asked Questions


1) Why do you say that you can’t be racist against white people? THAT’S RACIST!

A: No, it’s not. Racism is prejudice + societal oppression.  White people are not oppressed in modern Western Society.  Therefor, you can’t be racist against white people. You can be racially prejudiced, but you can’t be racist. In my book, it’s basically the difference between a lesbian and a gay guy. The orientations require different terms, but in the end, neither is more queer than the other.

2) But we all bleed red!

A: And if people went around judging other people by taking knives out and letting that shit flow, I would say you have a point. But you don’t. The only time we judge a person by their blood is when they have an STD and even then, it has nothing to do with the color. Your argument has absolutely no bearing. At all. None.


A: Please google the term “intersectionality.” “White privilege” is the privilege western society gives you because you are white. In western society, white is the default. White is the norm. Look up some of the ways the American legal system refuses to acknowledge cultural differences in terms of the “reasonable man” standard. Seriously. Like, really think about it. 

4) Why is my Asian fetish a bad thing? I’m appreciating the culture!

A: Having an Asian fetish means you are objectifying and defining a person by their race, instead of their personality. That is racist. It’s also really fucking racist to assume that all Asians are homogenous in terms of culture. Also, saying bullshit like, “but I just like how Asian culture is all loyal and traditional and non-combative” etc. is really fucking racist. Those are western stereotypes of “Asian” culture. So fuck off.  For more, please look up the term “dragon lady” and “lotus blossom.” 

5) Asians aren’t oppressed, are they? I mean, stereotypes for THEM are positive! You guys are all smart and good at math and know kung fu!

A: as “positive” as western society may view those attributes it is still pigeon-holing and restrictive and false.  Please also look up the term “model minority.”

6) what does POC mean?

Person of color. Not to be confused with “colored,” which was historically used as a racial slur, and has a lot of negative connotations.

7) Why can’t I, a white person, use the n-word/chink? That’s racist! You POCs use the word “Cracka”!

A: Because the n-word and “chink” are both racial slurs, created by white people, in order to oppress POCs. The context is important. Why do you even want to use the word “chink” or the n-word anyways? Also, those words have very different meanings and cultural connotations between the Asian/Black community. There is no way that a white person could say the n-word/”chink” to a POC and it would not be racist. 

In terms of the word “cracker,” please look it up. Again, a term created by white people FOR white people. So….yeah.

8) I am white and I have been bullied by POCs. Therefor, racial oppression for white people exists, right?

A: Wrong. Unless you were in a society where white people were NOT the norm/in control, you were not oppressed. The thing about oppression is that IT’S PERVASIVE. Once you step outside that predominantly minority environment, you’re still going to get paid more, hired more, treated better, and, in general, enjoy all the benefits of being the default/the norm of society. Whereas the POC will step out of that situation and find themselves being paid less, at statistically worse schools, for fewer jobs, while being misrepresented by the media. So….yeah. 

9) What is “cis” And trans?

To understand “cis” you have to understand “trans.” Trans means your gender identity is at odds with the gender you were assigned at birth. Gender is a social construct, and in Western society, it’s tied together with your genitals. Gender is NOT inherent! There are plenty of cultures with third genders. Look it up. 

Cis means your assigned gender matches your gender identity. I don’t care if you identify as “cis” or not. If that is you, you are “cis.” It’s less of a label and more of a fact. 

10) What’s the difference between transgender and intersex? 

That is the type of question that is easily remedied by googling both those terms.

11) What are gender neutral pronouns, and why are they necessary?

A: Gender neutral pronouns are pronouns that can be used when a person doesn’t identify as a particular gender within the english male/female dichotomy.  Gender neutral pronouns are also useful because you should never assume what a person’s gender is.  If a person requests that you use specific gender neutral pronouns.  

If you don’t know what somebody’s pronouns are, you can use many alternatives, the most popular are generally “ze/hir” and “they/them/theirs.” “They” is generally more understandable (despite some silly prescriptivists saying that it’s “ungrammatical”).  

12) How can you be queer? You’re not manly enough.

A: Please google the term “femme” combined with the word “queer.” Also, check your horrible stereotypes at the door.

13) Why are you such a feminist? 

A: Why aren’t you? Feminism (ideally, without all the racist bullshit that often gets in the way) is about equal rights for women. Be it legally, economically, or socially, women are oppressed in today’s western society. Are YOU OK with that?

On a related note: Being a feminist doesn’t mean being an angry raging bulldyke who hates men (although some feminists ARE those things, and that is their own perogative and their own right…so there). Being a feminist means you want equality. 


…I’m just going to point out that most of the shit that men “aren’t allowed to do” are things that western society would deem as “feminine.” The reason why men aren’t allowed to act feminine is because being seen as “feminine” is seen as weak.  The premise that being feminine is weak stems from the idea that women are lesser beings…..and we’re back at the patriarchy.

15) How do you feel about sex work/porn? Aren’t those anti-feminist? 

A: Sex work is voluntary. If a woman wants to voluntarily engage in sex as her job, I would say that’s more about empowerment and equality than anything else. Yes, porn is problematic and inaccurate, but if a woman wants to go into that, good for her. Our society is sex negative and that’s silly.

On a related work, Sex work is not human trafficking or sex slavery. Please google those terms so that you know the difference. I will say that there is a lot of problems concerning the intersectionality between prostitution and sex slavery (having worked in the child welfare industry, many people who initially say that they entered the work voluntarily are later proven to have been pressured by boyfriends, or at an age when they could not legally consent). That being said, a lot of those issues have to do with the fact that prostitution and other sex work isn’t really that regulated in the United States. So…yeah. 

16) Why should I wear a condom if I am on birth control?

A: Because no birth control is 99% effective and no hormonal birth control protects against STDs. I don’t care if you guys are both virgins; STDs can be transferred through other means than PIV sex (example: ever shared underwear? Ever been eaten out by a person with a cold sore?). Also, condoms are easy to check.  Just fill that shit with water when you are done and see if it leaks. 

17) I have this medical problem and it started with sex and can you tell me what it is? 

A: No. Go to a qualified physician. RIGHT NOW.

18) Do I have a fetish if….?

First, go to wikipedia and google “erotic fetish.”  Then look at yourself, think, “why am I attracted to this particular group? And does it have anything to do with weirdly stereotypical ethnic/sexual/physical characteristics that function as identifiers in today’s society? Also, do I say shit that tends to really fucking offend people?” Then come back to me if you still don’t know the answer to that question.  

19) Who the FUCK do you think you are?

I’m Lightspeedsound, and I am one bad-ass bitch. Have a nice day.